Little Johnny strikes again

The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".

Sally raised her hand. She said,"My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.

Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight."

The teacher sat down and cried..

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Cure for snoring

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes tothe vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the Dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring."Yeah right!"she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to theclosetand grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure Enough, the dog stops snoring.The woman is amazed.

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly.The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him.So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.

The Husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were, or what we did .but, by God ...We took FIRST and SECOND PLACE!!!

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Future Disappointment

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class: "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said: "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again: "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her: "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said: "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said: "Very good, Billy,"

She then turned to Mary and continued: "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One: you have a dirty mind, two: you didn't read your homework, and three: one day you are going to be very, very disappointed!

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au