Cowboys go yyyeeaaarrrrhhhaaarrrrrr

The sheriff of a small town walked out into the street and saw a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and boots.

The sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asked me to go out to her motor home with her... and I did. We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt. So I did... Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did...Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts, so I did... Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says, 'Now go to town cowboy...'

So here I am."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

3 mysterious deaths

Three bodies turned up at the morgue. All with smiles on their faces.

The coroner calls the police to explain how they died and what happened.

"First body Frenchman, 60 died of heart failure while making love to his Mistress Hence the enormous smile Inspector" Says the coroner

Second body, Scotsman, 25,won a thousand pounds on the Lottery spent it all on whisky. Drank himself to death. Hence the smile'

The Inspector said "What of the third body?

"Ah" Says the coroner, This is the most unusual one. Paddy from Dublin 30, Struck by lightning

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector?
The coroner replied "Thought he was having his picture taken

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Crazy old man nude

An Old Man, Mr. Goldstein, Was Living The Last Of His Life In A Nursing Home. One Day He Appeared To Be Very Sad And Depressed. Nurse Tracy Asked If There Was Anything Wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy," Said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part Died Today, And I Am Very Sad."

Knowing Her Patients Were Forgetful And Sometimes A Little Crazy, She Replied, "Oh, I'm So Sorry, Mr. Goldstein, Please Accept My Condolences."

The Following Day, Mr. Goldstein Was Walking Down The Hall With His Private Part Hanging Out Of His Pajamas, When He Met Nurse Tracy. "Mr.Goldstein," She Said, "You Shouldn't Be Walking Down The Hall Like That. Please Put Your Private Part Back Inside Your Pajamas."

“But, Nurse Tracy," Replied Mr. Goldstein, "I Told You Yesterday That My Private Part Died."

"Yes, You Did Tell Me That, But Why Is It Hanging Out Of Your Pajamas?"

"Well, He Replied, "Today's The Viewing."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

How to go fishing, guilt free

First guy fishing: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that i will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy fishing: " That's nothing. I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy fishing: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

Fourth guy fishing: I just set my alarm for 5.30am. When it went off I give the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear a jumper."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

New at the nookie

A girl takes her boyfriend home, they go into the bedroom and she immediately suggests that they do 69

"69? What the hell is that?", the boy asked the girl.

Realizing that he wasn't experienced, she tells him. "I place my head between your legs and you place yours between mine."

Still not knowing what she was talking about, and not wanting to ruin the moment, the boy agrees.

Just as they get into position, the girl accidentally lets out a big loud and smelly fart.
The boy gagging, and dragging himself out from position, rolls over to one side of the bed surprised at what had just happened.

The girl extremely embarrassed asked him to forgive her, said it would not happen again, and they get back into position. Again, she lets another big one out.

The boy gets up without saying a word, still with a horrifying look in his face begins to get dressed.

"What is wrong? Why are you leaving?", the girl asked.

To which the boy responded. "If you think that I am going to stick around for the other 67 you're f*cked up in the head!"

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Expensive bracelet!

A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to sh!t yourself when I tell you the price."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au