A whales revenge

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time; And it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it, and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon....however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.

The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female,

"Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."

At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.

"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

job interview

Four men were sitting around a conference room table being interviewed for a job.

The interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied "A thought. It pops into your head, there's no forewarning that it's on the way, it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good" replied the interviewer. "And now you, sir," he asked the second man.

"Hmmm, let me see..... a blink!," said the second man. "It comes and goes and you don't know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye. That's a very popular cliche for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out on my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there is a light switch. When you flip that switch, way across the paddock the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man.

"It's hard to beat the speed of light", he said. Turning to the fourth man, an Australian, he posed the same question

"After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me the fastest thing known is diarrhoea, said the Aussie.

"What!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response?

"Oh, I can explain", said the Aussie, "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could, think, blink, or turn on the light, I sh@t my pants."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

A close shave

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. " Just place this between your cheek and gum.

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.

After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au