This sounds like a bad joke... a priest and a rabbi...

The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying across the ocean when the plane developed engine trouble.

Everyone was doomed.

The priest turned to the rabbi and said, "Before I die there's something that I would like to know. You being Jewish and all -- have you ever tasted ham?"

"Well," the rabbi laughed, "sure I''ve tasted ham. But tell me father, before we die -- could you tell me if you have ever made love to a woman?"

The priest blushed and said, "There was this one time I gave in and made love to a woman."

The rabbi looked at the priest and said, "Beats the hell out of ham, doesn’t it?"

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Birthday present

"Hello, is this the police?"

"Yes it is. How can we help you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbour, Rangi. He's hiding cocaine inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call."

Early next morning, police officers descend on Rangi's house in great numbers. They search the house and then go out to the shed where the firewood Is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of firewood but they find no cocaine.

They swear at Rangi and leave.

The phone rings at Rangi's house.

"Hey, Rangi, Did the cops come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop up your firewood?"

"Yeah."

"Happy Birthday bro!"

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Make a wish

Two Aussies, Davo and Johnno, were adrift on a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boats provisions, Davo stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth.

This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter, Davo blurted out, turn the entire ocean into beer. Make that Victorian bitter!

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash and immediately the sea turned into the hard earned thirst quencher.

The genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

Johnno looked disgustedly at Davo whose wish had been granted.

After a long, tension-filled moment Johnno said, Nice going, idiot! Now we are going to have to piss in the boat!

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au