Corporate Head Hunting

Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity.

"You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing.

"You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any employees."

The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company's performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals all shook their heads, "No."

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"

A hand rose hesitantly.

"You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NOOOooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something .."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

3 Nuns go to heaven...

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;"
And *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he ask

"Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.

"No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Smart blonde

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?"
"Eleven," she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Blonde swimmer

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool.

The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out.

The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde".
The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au