Boys and girls doing what boys and girls do...

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads in the back seat some distance from town.

Things were getting hot and steamy when the girl stopped the boy.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a prostitute and I charge $20 for sex."

The boy just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window.

"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

State of Origin

Q: what's blue on the outside, and maroon on the inside?

A: a nsw fan with a bruised ego

Q. How many NSW fans does it take to change a light bulb.

A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and a Manager to say that if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.

Q. Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?

A. They had pictures of NSW players on them. People couldn't figure Out which side to spit on.

Q. What do you have when 100 NSW fans are buried up to their necks in sand?

A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between NSW and a jet engine?

A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q. What do NSW fans and sperm have in common?

A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a NSW fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?

A. Shoot the NSW fan - twice.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.

The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."

The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."

The fourth one says, "I prefer NSW fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

The perfect present

Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."

His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying that she can have 60 minutes of great sex, anyway she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."

So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice.

The next day at the bar, his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," Adam replied.

"Did she like it?"

"Oh yes! " said Adam. "She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!"

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Up, up and away!

At his request, each morning 3-year-old Ray's mother pinned a bath towel to the back shoulders of his size two T-shirt.

Immediately in his young imaginative mind, the towel became a magic blue and red cape. And he became Superman.

Outfitted each day in his "cape," Ray's days were packed with adventure and daring escapades. He was Superman.

One day, his mother enrolled him in kindergarten. During the course of the interview, the teacher asked Ray his name.

"Superman," he answered politely and without hesitation.

The teacher smiled, cast an appreciative glance at his mother, and asked again, "Your real name, please."

Again, Ray answered, "Superman."

Realizing the situation demanded more authority, or maybe to hide her amusement, the teacher closed her eyes for a moment, then in a stern voice said, "I will have to have your real name for my records."

Sensing he'd have to play straight with the teacher, Ray slid his eyes around the room, hunched closer to her, and answered in a hushed voice, "Clark Kent."

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

Have you found Jesus?

An Irish man was stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he came upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeded to walk into the water and bumped into the preacher.

The preacher turned around and, though almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, asked the drunk,"Are you ready to find Jesus?

The Drunk answered, "Yes, I am

So the preacher grabbed the drunk and dunked him in the water

Then he pulled him up and asked him, "Brother have you found Jesus?

The drunk replied, "No, I haven't found Jesus

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunked him into the water again,for a little longer.

Then again, he pulled him out and asked, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"

The drunk again answered, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher was at his wits end so he submerged the drunk once more, and held him down for about 30 seconds until he began kicking his arms and legs, where upon he pulled him up.

The preacher again asked the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"

The Irishman wiped his eyes and caught his breath and finally said to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au

How to tell the sex of your child

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are at the OB/GYN.
The nurse comes out and calls the brunette first.
She is in the doctor’s exam room for about 30 minutes or so.
When she finally comes out to the waiting room, she is so excited.
She says, “I’m having a girl!” The redhead and the blonde ask the brunette,
“How do you know that?”
“Because, I was on the top,” replies the brunette.

The nurse then calls the redhead for her visit with the doctor.
She comes out of the exam room 45 minutes later.
She is also very excited and says, “I’m having a boy!”
The other two ask, “How do you know that?”
She says, “Because I was on the bottom.”

A couple of minutes go by and the blonde bursts into tears.
The brunette and the redhead try to calm her down.
When the blonde is finally calm, the brunette asks her,
“What’s wrong?”
The blonde sniffles and says,
“I’m going to have puppies!”

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Email Karina and Maz, THE ZOO! zoo@sea1007.com.au